Psh.

I don't know if this is normal. But whenever everything in life is going good, I suddenly get this thought of "Everything has been going too good, for too long." It's almost second nature for me to expect something "bad" after a long period of "good."

If I have learned anything in the past few weeks, it is that life is fragile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. How cliche of me. But I mean that whole heartedly.

A few weeks ago, I was in a car accident. Yeah, my car was totaled, but no one was hurt. The girl who hit me had to be taken away in an ambulance, and it scared me. I knew she didn't have any life threatening injuries, but the fact that someone I knew was hurt, and watching them being taken away frightened me. A lot. If one small thing had gone differently in that accident, it could have been very bad.  

And to think, a few days after, I was angry about not having a car. How superficial of me.

And now, I get to watch my little brother sit in a hospital bed in the ICU. My baby brother. For those of you who don't know him, he does not complain about pain, ever. His pain tolerance is almost superhuman. So to see him in so much pain, to the point where he needs a morphine pump is a battle for my family. 

And to think, a few days before he got sick, I was so angry because I lost the keys to my rental car.

Life is too fragile to complain about anything! I don't know what God has in store, or why my family is being tested so intensely. All I know is that now, more than ever, I need to keep hold of God's hand. I am now lost, and I just need him to take my hand and hold it tight, and lead me to where ever it is I am supposed to go. 

I am scared, I am not going to sugar coat it. I have never been this scared in my entire life.

Lost keys? Psh. No car? Psh. Empty gas tank? Psh. Long work hours? Psh. Petty arguments? Psh.

None of that matters.

My priorities change now.