Psh.

I don't know if this is normal. But whenever everything in life is going good, I suddenly get this thought of "Everything has been going too good, for too long." It's almost second nature for me to expect something "bad" after a long period of "good."

If I have learned anything in the past few weeks, it is that life is fragile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. How cliche of me. But I mean that whole heartedly.

A few weeks ago, I was in a car accident. Yeah, my car was totaled, but no one was hurt. The girl who hit me had to be taken away in an ambulance, and it scared me. I knew she didn't have any life threatening injuries, but the fact that someone I knew was hurt, and watching them being taken away frightened me. A lot. If one small thing had gone differently in that accident, it could have been very bad.  

And to think, a few days after, I was angry about not having a car. How superficial of me.

And now, I get to watch my little brother sit in a hospital bed in the ICU. My baby brother. For those of you who don't know him, he does not complain about pain, ever. His pain tolerance is almost superhuman. So to see him in so much pain, to the point where he needs a morphine pump is a battle for my family. 

And to think, a few days before he got sick, I was so angry because I lost the keys to my rental car.

Life is too fragile to complain about anything! I don't know what God has in store, or why my family is being tested so intensely. All I know is that now, more than ever, I need to keep hold of God's hand. I am now lost, and I just need him to take my hand and hold it tight, and lead me to where ever it is I am supposed to go. 

I am scared, I am not going to sugar coat it. I have never been this scared in my entire life.

Lost keys? Psh. No car? Psh. Empty gas tank? Psh. Long work hours? Psh. Petty arguments? Psh.

None of that matters.

My priorities change now. 

Found: Blogger

I have no idea how many people actually give my little, irrelevant blog the time of day. But if you are out there and actually do exist, I apologize for being M.I.A. for a long time. I have been working my booty off.  Just trying to get some last minute money before school.

So let me catch you up on my life these past few weeks:

1. My boyfriend is wonderful.
2. I work too much.
3. Paid for my first month's rent, which makes me want to go back to school even more.
4. Watched one of my close friends get married.
5. Rocked out at a Ke$ha concert.
6. Made the decision that my room in my apartment will be pink, black and grey.
7. I miss my SAO sisters.
8. I miss the beach, I haven't been in forever and a day.

Yup, that is pretty much it.

I have had the band Needtobreath on repeat all week. Their songs have such a great message, and I can't help but feel empowered when I listen to them. It even gives me the strength to roll out of bed at 6:30 every morning. Now, if a band can do that, they are pretty darn good!