Become as Little Children

I just spent the last two days helping my mother in her third grade classroom. Let me repeat that. I just spent the last two days helping my mother in her third grade classroom. I have one word for you: hyper. Oh muh gawrsh, those little eight and nine year olds are so fun. But good gracious, they have more energy than I did after drinking soda for the first time in a nine months. 

It really was fun though. The first day I just helped my mom with basic needs around the classroom. You know: cutting things, glueing things, cleaning. The works. The second half of the day my mom had her Christmas party and I got to help serve food, assist with crafts and play my guitar for them while they sang songs. First of all, they thought the song thing was awesome. It was hysterical. They all got up and screamed the Christmas songs at the top of their lungs. I didn't even have to sing.

The second day was their last day before Christmas break. Yeah, they were a tad excited and hyper. And loud. Oh yes, were they loud. But I must say, it was a lot different than the day before. The entire third grade had their Christmas around the world activity. Each third grade teacher's classroom was a different "country" and the kids traveled from classroom to classroom learning about how different countries celebrate the holidays. My mom's room was Germany. And, apparently in Germany, they have a pickle ornament that the parents hide on the tree, and the first kid to find the pickle on the tree gets an extra gift from Saint Nicholas. So they got to make their own pickle ornaments, which they loved. In real life, they are usually glass ornaments. But they made their own felt and paper ones that looked like this:

Literally, they thought that the pickle thing so cool. Then we let them try gingersnaps, because gingerbread is apparently popular in Germany. And then we sang two songs (while I played guitar again) that supposedly came from Germany: Silent Night and Oh Christmas Tree. It took all day, and my mom taught the lesson five different times to each class that came to her "country."

I think the funniest part of the entire was when my cousin Zach came in to help out too. His mom (my aunt) works at the same elementary school as a librarian, and he was helping her in the library. But when he got bored, he came to my moms room. And to make things even more complicated, my little sister, Olivia, was in one of the third grade classes that my mom taught. My parents are divorced, so my mom and my little sister are not related since Olivia is from my dad's second marriage. And my cousin Zach and I are related because of my mom's second marriage. Zach and I are really close in age, so the moment he walked in, I got a million questions. 

"Is that your boyfriend?!" 

"No."

"Oh, is that you're twin?"

"No."

"Oh. Is that you're brother?"

"No. That is my cousin."

"Are you Olivia's sister?"

"Yes."

"But Mrs. Stong (a.k.a. my mom) is not her mom!"

"You're right she is not. We have different moms."

"Then how are you sisters?!"

"Because we have the same dad."

"If you and Zach are cousins, are Zach and Olivia cousins?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because we have different moms."

"Is Mrs. Murray (Zach's mom, my aunt) Olivia's aunt?"

"Nope."
"Why do you all have different last names?"
"It's a long story."

"I'm confused."

They were all sorts of confused. But they were laughing the entire time. They found it comical. I couldn't help but laugh too. I was cracking up. Because you half to admit, to a little kid, it is quite confusing. Heck, it's confusing to me as well. 

I love how humble little kids are. They find the smallest things entertaining, and find the simplest things hysterical. They aren't afraid to ask questions, or act completely silly. 

Matthew 18:3-4: And he said, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Sometimes we get so caught up in the "big kid" things of our lives. We tend to thing of everything as complicated, hard, difficult, or organized. But sometimes we need to change our perspective, humble ourselves, and look at the world like little kids. Or like third graders who love singing songs, making homemade pickle ornaments, or find humor in a confusing family.

I Want to Set the World on Fire

"I want to set the world on fire, 

Until it's burning bright for you.

It's everything that I desire,

Can I be the one you use?"

It's been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, here is what I say: one word is worth a thousand thoughts, a dozen of emotions, and countless meanings. Words can be that little match that starts an entire forest fire. Can you imagine it? Saying something, or writing something, that makes people question not only themselves, but you as well?

Everyone has that moment in life that sticks with them forever. There is that one thing that someone said to you, or something that you heard, that has shaped your life in a way that seems almost absurd. And no, I am not talking about the obvious things-like graduating from school, or going on a missions trip. Those things will shape your life forever and it's obvious. No, I am talking about those small, insignificant sentences that someone blurts out at a random, everyday moment. It shoots you in the heart and the bullet never leaves.

For me, it was a sermon about God's love that I heard in high school at a huge Christian youth rally. The man speaking pulled out a genuine one-hundred dollar bill, held it up to the crowd of several thousand students and said, "Who wants it?" At first, everyone looked around, confused. He proceeded, "No, seriously, I found this money on the floor, and I feel bad for keeping it. So, who wants it?" Of course, everyone in the audience, especially those people lucky enough to be sitting up front, stood up and waved their hands spastically in the air.

"Are you sure you want it?" he asked. "I mean, I found it on the floor. It probably has been stepped on, and their is a lot of dirt on it." The spasitc hand waving didn't stop, and it had morphed into screaming. One kid, at this point, was even standing on his chair and screaming "DUDE, I WANT THE MONEY!"

The speaker licked the hundred dollar bill. "Do you still want it?" The screams didn't cease. Everyone still wanted that money, really bad.

At the time, I didn't know why, but the speaker took the hundred dollar bill, put it in his mouth and chewed it. He spit it out, and while it was covered in saliva, he flattened back out and held it up. "Do you still want it?" The screaming didn't cease. Even though the money was dripping in spit, the value was still there.

The speaker then took the dollar bill, and ripped it a little bit. A little down the middle, ripped the two of the corners off, and some other random places on the side. Ripped just enough to look scraggly, but not ripped enough to lose it's value. "Do you still want it?" he asked. The screaming did not cease.

The speaker then took out a lighter and burnt the edges a little bit. Again, the money was burnt, but not enough to lose it's value. "Do you still want it?" he asked. The screaming did not cease.

He continued like this for several minutes, slowly making that hundred dollar bill more and more tattered. But never enough that it lost it's value, and the audience only became more anxious, and wanted that money even more.

Eventually it stopped, and the speaker looked out in the audience. He said, "God treasures you. He wants you more than anything. And just like you wanted this money, no matter how tattered, or dirty, or scarred. God wants you, no matter how tattered, or dirty, or scarred. Just like you all were screaming for this money, God is screaming for you. He wants you." By that point, the screaming had ceased.

It hit me hard. They were only spoken words. But, nevertheless, the hit me hard. What that speaker had only planned as a creative illustration for God's love, had been the match to my forest fire. I have never forget that speaker, or what he said. It has kind of stuck with me ever since then.

I hope I can be like that to other people. Unlike that speaker, I may never be in the position to talk to thousands of people at once, but that doesn't mean that people aren't listening. Whatever you say is heard. Whatever I say, is heard. I hope I can be that small voice in other's people's lives that tells them truth.

But be warned, what you say is not heard as coming from just another person on the street. It is heard as coming from a Christian. So be aware, that whatever you say, whether good or bad, can be the match that starts someone's forest fire. And that can be a positive or a negative thing.

Like I said before, can you imagine saying something, or writing something, that makes people question not only themselves, but you as well? I put the emphasis on the "you as well." part. Claiming yourself as a Christian makes you one of two things in this world: a leader, or an enemy. People will look at you differently, so be conscious of everything you say and do, because, to other people, it is a reflection of what you stand for, a.k.a. Jesus Christ.

Ecclesiastes 5:2-4 "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." It simpler terms, that means, watch what you say, and only speak what will build and comfort others, because you never know who is listening in. And you never know how that will affect them and their future walk with Christ.

So from here on out, I say that we, together, make a pact to be true lights of God through our speech and actions. Just as Colossians 3:8 says, "But now you are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, and filthy language out of your mouth."

Do you really want to give Jesus Christ a bad name by saying one small sentence and having it affect someone's life forever? 

Nope, I didn't think so. 

**I don't write this in a proud manner. I fail at this too often. I write this as humbly as possible. It is something I have reflected upon myself, and I wondered if others needed a helping hand as well.

A Little Bit Of Tweakin'

One good thing about being on Christmas break? You get a lot of alone time. After being surrounded by people literally all day, everyday in classes, work, and in my apartment, it's almost strange when I sit in a quiet room. I finally get to hear my own thoughts.

And here is what I have been thinking. My last post seemed kind of selfish. I ranted on and on about what I wanted to do with my life, and about what I thought was best for me. How stupid of me. It should not be about that. It should be about Him, and only Him, and about what He wants for me.

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 - "Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor. And this was my reward from all my labor. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled; And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun."

Talk about a shot in the heart, ya know? Sometimes you read things that make you go "Hmm" and make you question what you have already done.

I think the problem with most college students is the over-advertised belief that college is a time for self-exploration and seizing opportunities to secure your dream lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with dreaming, seizing awesome opportunities, or learning about yourself. The issues arises when it starts becoming truly self-absorbed, and not God oriented. It becomes "my dreams" rather than "my dreams for serving God."

I think that is where I am at right now, and I know I am not alone. Or, at least I hope not. I look back on my last post and realize that, again, there is nothing wrong with any of those dreams. The ambitions to travel and write are not a negative. In fact, they are beautiful dreams. I just need to ensure that I am doing them for all the right reasons.

As Ecclesiastes says, "There is no profit under the sun." So there is no point in desiring a life of things, because the moment you die, those things become nothing to you. All you will have left is the life you lead, and the day of judgement. Do you really think getting a promotion, buying a house, or driving a nice car will be of any affect when you stand before the throne? Nope.

So rather than changing all of aspirations, I will tweak them. And I suggest you do the same. I still want to back pack through Europe. But I pray that I can do that and talk to people about Jesus along the way, and truly humble myself through a short journey with nothing but the necessities on my back. I still want to write and travel at the same time, but I pray I can shine a light into the lives of other people through my travels and my words. And as for the book, I pray that it truly can serve a purpose, rather than just writing a story about a sparkly vampire romance.

And if none of those things happen, I won't be upset. But I won't stop working hard.

Live For Real.

This picture is from Goa, India. Like I said, I have recently been a little obsessed with this blog. I just love reading about her travels. She had 24 hours in Goa and posted about this little beach hut she stayed in a for while. No electric, lots of sun. As she said in her blog, to make the most of your beach hut, rise with the sun. I just want to do something like this one day, and when I think about that, I just think of one more thing....

The future scares me.

I sit here and watch my some friends of mine graduate, others who are preparing to graduate in the spring, and others who are stocking up their resume for when they do graduate. Meanwhile, here I am sitting in my apartment bedroom, at midnight, watching International House Hunters merely wishing that I could be searching for an apartment in Poland or Paris. And then, of course, I feel like I am being surrounded by dozens of stories about aspiring writers and journalist who are slowly making the transition from bottom-of-the-barrel to successful.

Where does that leave me?

And no, I am not scared as in "worried out of my mind" and "stressed to death." No. Not that. When I say that I am scared, I mean that I have not taken a step forward in any single direction. So, there are dozens, hundreds even, of routes I could take. And I feel like I am just standing in the middle of the intersection trying to decide which road to take. It's like a scared that is equivalent to too-many-options-and-freaking-out.

It could be worse, I know. I could have no options. But I just really wish I could narrow it down. Like a specific job I want to gain. Or a specific place I want to travel to. Or a specific goal that I want to achieve.

I have never been the kind of person to hold expectations or goals at extreme priority. Meaning, I have never really clung to one goal or expectation because of the fear of not meeting them, which only leads to disappointment. But, here are a few words of advice: That doesn't really work.  Disappointment is a part of life, and I have realized lately that I really need to pick a goal and work my booty off to get to it. And that is with or without disappointment. I just need to go for it.

There are a lot of things I have wanted in life, but I didn't necessarily cling to them. And the consequence was that realization that I had given up too much of my dreams and was, in the end, dreaming of nothing. If that makes sense?

So here are few things that I have decided that I really need to do for myself.
1. Go backpacking in Europe. I don't want a single reservation booked or excursion planned. I just want a group of friends, a full back pack, and an open itinerary for a few weeks to see where it leads me.
2. Write a book. I could care less if it becomes a best seller or known at all. I just want to write something worth reading, and something that I am proud of.
3. Find a way to get paid for traveling and writing all in one. It's a long shot, because there is a very small market for that kind of thing. But, wouldn't that be awesome?
4. Go on a long term international missions trip. And by that I mean, not just a few days or weeks. I mean, like live in another country for months at a time to show the light of Christ.

Those are the four main ones I have decided to cling to at the moment. They may change, or I may add some more. But those are the ones I want to achieve before I am too old to do any of them

I can't wait. I can't wait to live. Live for real.

Freedom!

Reason #214 that I love JMU: Because school actually becomes MORE entertaining during finals week.

Welp, ladies and gents, there goes another semester. I am three for three in my college career, and it feels rather swell. The only problem now is getting over what has recently been deemed "Tay-Syndrome", also known as, being-bored-with-nothing-to-do blues. I seriously am not the type that can just do nothing. Yes, I know I kind of complain about being so busy and so overwhelmed sometimes, but I really do love it. I need something to do, or something planned, or something to work for, otherwise I just feel lazy and don't get out of bed.

The verdict is looking good. I think I may over come this rare syndrome. Natalie and I were both inflicted this afternoon, only hours after our semester ended. So we decided to get up and do something productive. First, we had a Barnes and Nobles date. Yeah, it sounds weird, but I could literally spend hours in there. And they have coffee! So we sat and talked for a bit in there. Then we took a short stroll around down town, and finally came back to my apartment where we had craft time. We made a few Christmas gifts for a few special people. And I now have a new friend living in my room with me! (Click here to see him!). Isn't he just adorbs? Well, I thought so.

Oh and on a side note, you should look at this blog. It's pretty much what I want to do with my life. Travel, and write about it. And, this girl is doing for a master's degree! Mind = blown.

This Picture.

This picture describes the only three things I really need in life. Coffee, Jesus, and SAO.

(Add in my family and best friends in there too, but I had no way of putting that into a picture).

This has been one of the hardest weeks I have had to deal with in a while.

Not THE hardest, but nonetheless, really hard.

Good night world, I am going to sleep before I have to take this horrific Spanish exam tomorrow. 

Currently...

Obessing over: the Frank Sinatra Pandora station. I put it on in the morning and it literally just puts me in such a chipper mood. But, seriously, you should do it. It just makes you want to drink hot chocolate, skip with while swinging a cane, and dance like old couples.

Working on: My extremely large final essay for my Humanities literature class. I haven't written a word yet because I am having major writer's block. Fail.

Thinking about: My sister. A picture popped up on my computer of me and her messing around with Photobooth and I missed her.

Anticipating: Being done with school for the semester. Need I say more?

Listening to: See the line labeled "Obsessing over"

Drinking: Water out of the new Camelback water bottle I just bought a few days ago. I'm pretty excited about it actually, only because I never wanted to buy one because they are so darn expensive!

Wishing: That there was such thing as the "Essay Writing Fairy." That would awe-to-the-some.

Love Letters

To everyone, you should read this. Especially if you are stressed this week because of finals.

Two Words: Finals Week

This picture explains how I have been feeling all week: drained. And I know I am not the only one. Almost every single school I know has exams this week or next. Ours is next week, but of course, over half of my exams are this week, and the other half are on Monday of next week. So, needless to say, I have a lot do this week and this weekend. But, hey, on the bright side, I will be done this semester by Monday.....can I get a fistpump?!

Life Lessons of Fall Semester '11

You know, I have been at a sort of loss lately as to what I want to talk about on this little blog of mine. It's not that I have lacked topics to talk about or lack of any feelings to sort through. Actually, it has been the exact opposite. I've had tons of thoughts running through my brain. The problem, honestly, has been the fact that I don't know how to write exactly what I want to because I don't even know what it is that I am feeling. But if there is one thing I have learned this semester, it is that writing is my outlet: I may not be the best writer in the world, but I genuinely love it because it is my tool for self-exploration and self-understanding. So, here we go.

I have a new appreciation for the gift of life. I don't mean to bring these rough situations up again, but yes, my brother almost died. My best friend and her family dealt with a tragic death. And my roommate lost one of her closest friends and teammates unexpectedly just two days ago. And then, of course, my boyfriend and I went to see the new movie "In Time" and it really just hyperbolized the fact that time is limited, and you never know when your clock will run out.

So with such a short life, where does that leave me? Let's be honest here: I am nothing but a piece of dust on the timeline of eternity. And so is everyone else. It's only in eternity when my life becomes dust no longer, but becomes a stone: permanent and stagnant. Your life will become permanent one day too: the question is, where will it be?

I pray to God I can spend eternity with Him. And I pray even more that my family and friends will be with. And that is where this whole re-evaluation on life has lead me: the need to reach out to the ones I love.

Here we go Taylor: It's time to stop being a coward. Stand up. Speak up. And stand out. And whoever is reading this: You do the same. I've decided it is time for me to stop taking my relationships for granted. I've decided I am taking my relationships off the backburner, and putting as a top priority, and reach out to those who desperately need something more in their life.

Another thing I have learned lately is the true definition of love. No offense to the Disney movies, but they don't exactly portray realistic love. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Disney and probably more than a normal human being should. But the love they taught me is the love I believed. I believed that love is a feeling, an emotion, or an immense sense of happiness of sorts. In a way, yeah, that is kind of true. But, it is not the whole truth. It is great to "feel" something for someone, but I hate to burst your bubble: no matter how much you love someone, that feeling will not last.

If you don't understand what I mean, think about it this way. Jesus Christ. If my relationship with Him was emotionally based, like we are bred to believe love is, then I would not be a follower of Christ. If faith was emotion based, the moment something bad happened or the instant we became upset or stressed, our belief in Him would diminish. Sorry, but that is not how it works. In my relationship with Christ, I have to make a conscious decision to lean on him during the good, AND the bad. Now, if that is how my relationship with Christ works, why should my relationships on Earth be any different?

Love, I have learned, is a decision. It is a life choice. It is a promise to remain faithful even when you are completely hopeless. It may not "feel" good, or "feel" like the love we have been taught, but that doesn't mean that the love isn't there.

And the last thing I have learned: the future is scary. I don't mean that in a negative way. I just mean that I have to learn to come to the realization that I am not a kid anymore. It's a sad truth, but I guess I can't ignore it forever.

Okay, don't judge me...

...but I love Tangled. And yes, I do realize I am dressed up as a dude. But, come on, the costume is AWE-to-the-SOME. I may or may not have enjoyed myself to much. And I may or may not have eaten my weight in the delicious homemade sugar cookies that Rachel's mom made. And the next night, Rachel and I may or may not have attempted cone-ing (If you don't know what that is, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WygNjMSllLQ ) I realize it may or may not make sense, but it is funny. But we may or may not have failed horribly at it; the guy knew what we were doing and put it upside down in a cup. He may or may have been really rude. And what is even more exciting, I may or may not have signed a lease to live with Rachel, Brittany and Kirsten next year! Woop woop!

Oh, I'm told that I say "may or may not" a lot. Do you agree?

It's all in good fun :)

@ Peace

There's something strangely peaceful about God; and I mean that in the best way possible. I just mean that he has this sense of peace so great that I can't help but recognize him as my God. 

I should have a lot of things to worry about: money stress, midterms, internships, and so on and so forth. In fact, I just did finish taking a test while being sick (I seriously feel like I have the flu right now). So I am pretty sure I did not do well on it all.

Yet here I am, sitting in Festival thinking: Man, I'm happy. No stress? Nope. Actually, most of my thoughts were centered around the delicious crepe I just annihilated (Complete with bananas, strawberries, blueberries, whipped cream, Nutella, powdered sugar, caramel and chocolate sauce. Yes, that was my lunch; don't hate.)

I just wanted to say Thank God, for being so....awesome. 

Fall Days

I've decided that living in the mountains ain't too bad, especially in the fall when everything is just so...pretty.

It's just so nice outside. Such perfect weather. 

So perfect, in fact, that it makes me want to jump and scream.

Apple cider is so delicious. But my newest find tastes even better: APPLE DOUGHNUTS. 

Nom nom nom. I ate them so fast.

If you have never picked THE most perfect apple on a tree: DO IT.

It's the best feeling in the world. 

I hiked up some really tiring hills today. Good gravy, Taylor is SO out of shape.

But the view was worth it, eh?

I fail at these things...

I really do fail at blogging everyday. The thought of doing a 365 day project was a good idea, but I just stink at committing to blogging everyday. So I am just going to call it quits. I know, I know: a quitter never wins and a winner never quits. But it's whatever, I can accept that fate. I'll just blog whenever I feel like it, but I promise that will be a lot more than it was over the summer.

Day 6 {I bet those people are secret spies.}

I just realized I never poster yesterday; my bad. But nothing exciting really happened. I woke up feeling like scum so I decided to bypass my one and only class for the day and sleep. It worked; I felt good after almost twelve hours of sleep. I then went to work, worked on a group project, and hung out with Brandon.

We went to the movies and saw Abduction. It's a good thing that Brandon knows everyone and their mother at the movie theater, otherwise we would have had to of paid full price for it. Granted, Taylor Lautner is good looking, but boy, he just cannot act. And whoever wrote that screenplay; kudos for being the most predictable movie ever. It made me laugh because Brandon kept making predictions the entire time (I bet there is a bomb in the oven. Ten bucks says his dad shows up and saves the day. I bet those people are actually secret spies. Watch; that guy will be dead in 10 seconds) and every time he was right.

Come on people, let's be creative here!

Verse for Today: Psalm 119:28

{My soul melts from heaviness, strengthen me according to Your word.}

Day 5 {H20}

Courtney, Hannah and I helped out Steph and the rest of IV Justice team today by advertising the H2O project. They are trying to raise money to build a well in Africa, raise awareness for the water crisis and making a difference on the JMU campus in regards to pollution and being green. It was really refreshing to help people do something that is bigger than this college campus.

Think about it: What would you do if you didn't have water available? No clean bath water, no clean drinking water, and no clean dishes, etc. It is heartbreaking to think that millions of people don't have that. They have to walk miles a day to get only a couple of gallons of water for their entire family. It's heartbreaking really.

Todays Verse: Philippians 4:6-7

{Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard you hearts and minds through Christ.}

Day 4 {Shoe Frenzy}

I own way too many shoes for my own good. I came back to HBurg today with my second load of stuff that never made it down here originally because of my brother's illness. But it's finally here and reorganizing my closet to fit all this stinkin' shoes was a task. Shew. 

Today's Verse: 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

{Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ.}

Day 3 {Home Sweet Home}

My mom treated me to shopping and a movie today. Store of choice? Charming Charlie. Three words: OH. MY. LANTA. That store is insane. I literally was overwhelmed by the amount of cute things in there. My mom literally had to say, "Ok, we are done. Walk to the counter. Now." Otherwise, I would not have left. My mom also treated me to some new clothes from Forever 21 when she took Max up to Christiana yesterday. I came home to the cutest clothes sitting on my side table. Thanks Mom!

Then we went and saw The Help. My mom has been dying to see that movie, and I heard it was really good so we went. I loved it. And I think the reason I loved it so much is because it was about a young women making a difference through writing. I think that is why I like writing so much. It can be such a powerful outlet when put to good use and it can create great things. Obviously, it isn't a true story. But the concept was really inspiring to an aspiring writer...like me.

My mom and I came home to food on the table. My stepdad had cooked some muy delicioso steak, and my brother and cousin were pretty much drooling because they were so hungry. Oh, how I missed dinners with my family. They're stupid humor is definitely something to miss, especially with my cousin Brady there. He is so full of himself, but I love him.

Classic dinner conversations:

Me: Max, did you know they are making The Giver into a movie?

Max: No way!

Mom: What do you think even happened to the boy at the end? Your dad said he died.

Max: I think he lived.

Me: Me too.

Stepdad: Hey, I didn't say he died, I just said it was a possibility! The author wrote it with the intention of making it an open ending.

Brady: Well, I read a Dr. Seuss book.

{Awkward Silence}

Or:

Me: You know, in The Help, they said Crisco can be used for anything. Maybe you should invest in some for your head."

Stepdad: I am not putting fat on my bald head.

These converstations may not be that funny to you. Maybe it was one of those "you-have-to-be-there" things but I was cracking up.

Today's Verse: Isaiah 40:29

{He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.} 

Day 2 {On the Road Again}

I left Harrisonburg around 6 o'clock, and was finally reunited with my family by 10. By the way, let me just say, I love the drive from Virginia to Delaware; the mountains are so pretty. Anyway, it was the first time I saw my brother since the hospital which, to say the least, was not the best situation to see him in. So seeing him walking and actually act normal made me so happy. Besides the fact that he has these cute huge chipmunk cheeks from the steroids the doctors gave him, he is still the annoying brother I had a few weeks ago. It's a good thing I love that boy.

Earlier I lead a Bible study for SAO, hence the cheesy picture above. We have to take a picture of all the events we have, and that picture was the result. Yup, those are my sisters for you.

Falling asleep in my own bed, with my dog cuddled up next to me, was the best feeling I have had in a long time. That feeling of: Yup, I'm home.

Today's Verse: Proverbs 31:30

{Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.}

Day 1 {Late Night Pancakes}

Homecoming at JMU means only one thing: free food. No, but seriously. We all went to Late Night Breakfast together, complete with smore's pancakes, cheerleaders, and loud dance music. So pretty much it was a night filled with chocolate covered faces, awkward dance parties at the table, and lots of laughter. 

Earlier that day was nothing special though. I woke up, got my oil changed, went to class (SNORE!), and then worked. But on the bright side, I actually had a good session at work which made my heart happy. 

Verse for today: 1 Peter 1:8-9.

{Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. And even thought you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.}

365 Project

I've decided I have neglected this blog way too long. I really want to get in the habit of posting everyday, but the problem is I don't think my life is that interesting to write about every day. So, I've decided that since a picture is worth a thousand words, I would transfer the Facebook 365 project onto my blogger. A photo and description everyday for a year. And if I happen to have anything else to write about then I'll add that too! So that will be starting tonight and, yeah, that's all :)

Busy Bee, Buzzzz

I'm sorry I have neglected you my little blog. It's not you, it's me. Bah! Busy busy bee over here at JMU, phew.

Can I just say how excited I am to get a little? I have been to a few of the recruitment events and have met all a lot of the recruitees for SAO. And let me just say, they are AWE to the SOME! And I think I may have found my new favorite game, ever. Birdy on a Perch anyone?! No but seriously, we need to play Birdy on the Perch all day, every day. I would probably be the happiest person on the east coast. Plus, I am beast. Me and one of the recruitees Miranda totally kicked everyone elses butts! Whoop whoop!

Sadly, I have to miss the ice cream social tonight. Sad face. In fact, let's make that an oober sad face. Missing an oppurtunity for free ice cream makes my heart sad.

But on a happy note, I bought a new Bible cover today. It's probably sad that I get that excited over such small things, but...yeah, I'm really excited. It is cheetah print and looks like a purse..that is until you open it and its all: BAM, BIBLE!

Verse of the Moment would be, hmmm, let's think...

2 Corinthians 1:3-7 (Courtesy of my wonderful boyfriend...)


"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."  

Liberation.

I realize I have not posted on my blog in...well, a long time. I do love writing, but this past month or so has been overwhelming to the point of silence. I just simply didn't feel like saying anything. It's been one of those months where you are just tested and become exhausted. I realized I have a lot of things to work on in my life and I am not ashamed to admit that. God made me human, so therefore I will make mistakes. And it my job to edit myself, to grow, to learn and to make myself into something that God will be proud of.

I think one of my biggest struggles lately has been dealing with my own personal outlook on everyday situations. I have become one of those "glass half empty" people and I am not okay with that. It all started when I did nothing but waitress. All day. Everyday. At first I was perfectly content with working that much, since I was making good money. But it got to the point where all I wanted to do was complain. I'm sure people were annoyed with me, but hey, I make mistakes.

I then was confronted with the issue of gossip. By no means am I the person who makes up ridiculous rumors and spreads them carelessly. No, I would never do that. But I do admit to being that person who vents frustrations that travel faster than you can say "I'm sorry." And every time it seems to blow up in my face because I am not brave enough to confront the person I am venting about.

When I got back to school, you could say I was flooded with experiences that made me put my life back into perspective. My brother literally almost died, my homework piled up over my head, and my sorority sisters and church family were living a life that I missed. They showed me what it truly meant to be a follower of Christ and I missed feeling like I was a part of that life.

So I decided, and am still pursuing, to re-evaluate and redirect my life. I read my Bible twice, maybe even three times, as much everyday, because I feel like I need to be fully submerged in the Word if I am going to go anywhere. I decided to listen to nothing by Christian music for a week, because I needed to fill my mind with nothing but pure faults. Now, I am not saying that secular music is horrible. I personally am a fan of Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga and all that jazz. I will be the first person to dance around the moment Party Rock comes on. But I needed to set my mind on something higher, so I took them out of my playlist for a week to make sure I kept my mind focused on a holier purpose. And I made sure to surround myself with my Christian friends. I have tons of friends that aren't neccessarily Christian, but they just simply don't understand the struggles that Christians have, so their support can only help me so far. I needed my brothers and sisters in Christ to be examples for me as I was pulling myself out of this ditch I put myself it.

And it worked. I was able to redirect my life within two weeks to something much more meaningful.

If it still doesn't make sense, look at the picture above. It is an activity we did on my sorority's retreat. We wrote all of our worries, anxious thoughts, fears and anything else that was causing us stress on a rock. And with all of the sisters screaming their heads off behind me, cheering me on, and screaming my name: I threw the rock as hard as I could into the lake. Very liberating. Very much symbolic of how I felt these past three or four weeks.

Psh.

I don't know if this is normal. But whenever everything in life is going good, I suddenly get this thought of "Everything has been going too good, for too long." It's almost second nature for me to expect something "bad" after a long period of "good."

If I have learned anything in the past few weeks, it is that life is fragile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. How cliche of me. But I mean that whole heartedly.

A few weeks ago, I was in a car accident. Yeah, my car was totaled, but no one was hurt. The girl who hit me had to be taken away in an ambulance, and it scared me. I knew she didn't have any life threatening injuries, but the fact that someone I knew was hurt, and watching them being taken away frightened me. A lot. If one small thing had gone differently in that accident, it could have been very bad.  

And to think, a few days after, I was angry about not having a car. How superficial of me.

And now, I get to watch my little brother sit in a hospital bed in the ICU. My baby brother. For those of you who don't know him, he does not complain about pain, ever. His pain tolerance is almost superhuman. So to see him in so much pain, to the point where he needs a morphine pump is a battle for my family. 

And to think, a few days before he got sick, I was so angry because I lost the keys to my rental car.

Life is too fragile to complain about anything! I don't know what God has in store, or why my family is being tested so intensely. All I know is that now, more than ever, I need to keep hold of God's hand. I am now lost, and I just need him to take my hand and hold it tight, and lead me to where ever it is I am supposed to go. 

I am scared, I am not going to sugar coat it. I have never been this scared in my entire life.

Lost keys? Psh. No car? Psh. Empty gas tank? Psh. Long work hours? Psh. Petty arguments? Psh.

None of that matters.

My priorities change now. 

Found: Blogger

I have no idea how many people actually give my little, irrelevant blog the time of day. But if you are out there and actually do exist, I apologize for being M.I.A. for a long time. I have been working my booty off.  Just trying to get some last minute money before school.

So let me catch you up on my life these past few weeks:

1. My boyfriend is wonderful.
2. I work too much.
3. Paid for my first month's rent, which makes me want to go back to school even more.
4. Watched one of my close friends get married.
5. Rocked out at a Ke$ha concert.
6. Made the decision that my room in my apartment will be pink, black and grey.
7. I miss my SAO sisters.
8. I miss the beach, I haven't been in forever and a day.

Yup, that is pretty much it.

I have had the band Needtobreath on repeat all week. Their songs have such a great message, and I can't help but feel empowered when I listen to them. It even gives me the strength to roll out of bed at 6:30 every morning. Now, if a band can do that, they are pretty darn good!

I Heart the Beach.

Man, I love where I live. Not only do I get a choice of a walking on the beach, or driving on the beach, but we also get the occasional tractor strolling by. I had one of those "You know you are in Sussex County when..." moments. And no one even turned around as if a tractor on the beach is a totally normal sight. 

Note To Self:

Wear board shorts while surfing. I went for the first time and my legs are still torn up from three days ago. 

But things I have learned today:

- I need to stop being a lazy bum a go to the gym.

- I love hoodies too much.

- I need new glasses, especially after the eye doctor comment on the amount of scratches they have.

- I love my new glasses slash prescription sun glasses. Two pairs, oh yeah.

- I need to stop staying up so late for no good reason.

God's Army.

I have these periods every few weeks where my past comes back to haunt me. Whether the memories are bad or good, it nonetheless looms in my head, popping up in the most unfortunate times. My tendency to suppress memories is rather unhealthy, and I think it is due to the fact that facing the past is more painful than the memory itself.

This past week has been rather strange; the flood gates have opened. I don't think I have had a flood memories of this magnitude in awhile. I feel like I am constantly swinging at these idiotic things, trying to get them away; out of the field, past the bleachers. But I keep striking out, and have to keep swinging. Let's just say it's frustrating.

What is even more frustrating is the fact that these memories are hard to talk about with other people. There are stories and emotions with each memory that other people simply just don't understand. So, unfortunately, it is a personal battle. A battle that rarely presents a side kick or wing-man. It's always "every man for himself." At least, it feels that way.

I spent about twenty minutes tonight doing some personal reading. I read a lot of verses, but just didn't find that one verse that provided me with the perfect revelation and that moment of "Ah, that is exactly what I needed." I almost gave up. That is until my best friend walks over, opens up the Bible to random page and reads a random verse. It was perfect:

2 Chronicles 20:15 - " Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's."

Kelsey closed the book, nonchalantly said "Wow, that's comforting", proceeded to close the book, and started watching television. I spend twenty or so minutes looking for a verse like that, and took her a matter of seconds. The way God works in my life amazes sometimes.

I stayed on that verse in my mind for several minutes. Kelsey didn't know it, but I had a whirl wind of thoughts going through my head. I know the context was different, but I imagined all of my battles being God's. Everything that has every caused me pain or distress were not my battles to fight. They were God's.

All of that high school drama? If I had given it to God, would have seemed stupid at the time.
All of that harbored up hatred? If I had given it to God, would have seemed irrational.
All of those tears? If I had give it to God, they could have been utilized for something more important.
All of those relationships with family and friends? If I had given it God, would have been stronger.

I guess it is in the anatomy of a college student to have an "I can do it myself" attitude. I definitely encountered that feeling many times at school. If I had an exam: "Oh, if I just study hard, I can get an A." If I had a long day: "Oh, if I just drink coffee and concentrate I can get through it." If I needed to work out: "Oh, if I just find the right song, I can push myself through it." What each situation in my life lacked was the support of God.

In any battle in life, he is like his own army. And not just any army. The best. Fearless. Bold. Trusting. Unbeatable.

It all comes back to these stupid reoccurring memories of mine. I have always been a rather self-reflecting person. In fact, too much much self-reflecting. I worry too much, and think too much about these situations in my life, that I forget to stop looking at my own reflection. And no, I do not mean a literal reflection. I mean that I too much self-reflecting in comparison to my own standards, instead of God's.

I need God's army on my side. I need to start striving to God's dream for me, instead of my own.

Then maybe, just maybe, I can finally conquer these memories once and for all.

Creativity in Everyday Life.

I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. This sense of; how do I put it? Tiredness. I haven't felt this way since my four a.m. study sessions during finals week. It's not so much that my body is tired. It is more of a mental exhaustion. I feel like I have seen, done, and felt so much in the past week. I just need a break, you know?

A week ago today, my dad called me telling me that my dog had cancer and that he was going to be put down. The next day, I spend the day with my dog, in addition to doing several loads of laundry and watching my little brothers and sister bawl their eyes out after hearing the news. The next day, I drove four hours and went swimming with a family of nine kids. That night, we played lots of games filled with laughter, and didn't fall asleep until late. Continuing on, the next day was filled with hiking, river swimming, and small talk at a graduation party. On Saturday, I drove a few hours into Richmond with two friends, and let's just say my driving was not the best. Not to mention I was a little bummed that I could not see all my friends that day. Saturday night, we walked around int he most beautiful park you could ever imagine; in the rain. And on Sunday, I got up early, went to assembly, finally sat next to my wonderful boyfriend at assembly, had a lovely lunch with his family, and spend the rest of the day just being happy. I finally drove home, alone, on Monday morning, sleep deprived considering I spend the night before watching SNL reruns on the laptop and did not want to fall asleep. My week closed with a shift a work, and let's just say I was not happy about it.

Happiness. Sadness. Tired. In awe. Content. Excited. Relaxed. I felt it all. In the matter of five days, I felt it all. Now I am just sitting here, a few days later, questioning myself and whether or not it all really happened.

Life kind of amazes me sometimes.

And I thank God for that everyday.
If every day of mine was plain and boring, I think I would be upset with my life. I like the fact that every day of mine is completely different than the last.

Yesterday I slept and relaxed. Today I jammed out while riding down Route One with a few of my closest friends.

Thank you God. For showing me your love by applying your creativity in my everyday life.

BEAST.

Two videos of some beast songs. Woop.

I Am Happy.

As the lovely Miss Natalie reminded me, I have not blogged in a week and three days. Craziness. But unintentional. Let me give you the run down of what my life has consisted of the during the past week and a half.

Uno: Beach. I have started getting a darker tan line, score!

Dos: Working. I have worked everyday for the past week, and about 3 doubles, including the double I am working tomorrow. But hey, gotta get that cash flow some how I guess.

Tres: Moving. Me and Kelsey are officially roommates in my mom-mom's empty apartment. It took a few more days than expected, but we got it here. And, one, I repeat, ONE corner of the apartment has working wi-fi. Insert happy dance here. 

Cuatro: Praying. As I have mentioned before, I feel like I have let myself drift from God since I left school. Unintentional, but nonetheless important so my prayer and private Bible readings have gotten better.

Cinco: Planning. I am trying to plan for my weekend in Virginia, which is a little more than I thought when it comes to getting my car ready (I have to get new tires), getting the money, confirming days and times with people, and making sure my parents understand that I can in fact drive five hours alone. 

Read this verse tonight, so I thought I would share:

"I know there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live." Ecclesiastes 3:12

I thought it kind of fit with my life at the moment. I am so happy. So, so happy. And I am trying as best I can to do good. I am hoping I can keep this pattern going for the rest of the summer.

Let me just say...

Judgement is God's job only. Not ours. You cannot judge something, or even really develop a valid opinion on anything unless you either: one, know exactly what your are talking about, or two have experience first hand.

One criticism, and judgement,  I am receiving A LOT lately is the fact that I have been born and raised in public school, and know go to a stereotypical party school.

Apparently, "my mind has been corrupted."
Apparently, "my education is behind."
Apparently, "I am tempted with serious sin."
Apparently, "Public high school is all bad."

It has been kind of frustrating to say the least.

Okay, yes. There are "bad" things that happen in public schools, but every thing has something bad in it. I'm sorry my parents can't afford a private Christian school, and I am sorry my parents have careers (in the public school system) and don't have time to home school me.

And let me just say, I have never felt closer God than at JMU with my CHRISTIAN sorority sisters. And the CHRISTIAN Intervarsity dance parties. And the CHRISTIAN worship nights. And awesome CHRISTIAN fellowship.

And at least I actually exercise my faith.
I'm not a "couch potato" Christian: one that sits down and takes in and takes in, and never exercises anything off. I don't want to be a fat, unhealthy Christian. I want to be happy and fit.

I have been put in situations where I have be tested and tempted, but yet I put all of my faith in God, and he showed me just how strong he is.

So you can't tell me that public school and secular college has "ruined" me or affected my faith.

Sorry for the rant, it just has been frustrating me lately.

Dose of Happy

People really need some doses of happy into their lives. Like, seriously. One thing I hate about waitressing: the annoying customers. 99% of the time, my tables are all nice. But there is always that one that just ruins your night. One of my tables got SO mad at me because I forget to say no pecans on the salad, and the fact that there were shells in their crab cutlet. Their entire check had to be voided to make them happy, and they only left me a 10% tip. Yay.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 "When times are good, be happy. When times are bad, consider, God has made one as well as the other." Maybe I should just right that on the back of all my checks.

On a side note, my back is SO burned. I fell asleep on my stomach today at the beach for like twenty minutes. Mistake. Because now I can't bend my back without getting a little sting. At least it will turn to tan, right?

But regardless of the sunburn and snobby tables, I worked it out at the gym. Woo hoo, three miles and weights. Summer body, here I come. By no means am I insecure, but what is so wrong with wanting to look and feel good, and not mention healthy? Not a thang.

Now I am just tired. And my dog is staring at me, with a ball in his mouth. Nooo! I do not want to play dude. But as soon as I yell that at him, he gets on my bed and lays down exactly where I sleep. This dog is annoyingly smart......

Wrandom Writings.

I really had no direction for my personal reading tonight, so I literally just began flipping through the pages. Just thought I would share some verses I came across that really hit me when I read them:

Proverbs 3:7-8 "Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones."

Hosea 10:12 "Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord, till He comes and rains righteousness on you."

Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

Colossians 1:9 "For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will all wisdom and spiritual understanding."

Hebrews 12:14 "Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord."

Also, I read more of Captivating today at the beach. I wanted to share some cool stuff from there too:

"A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws our her beauty. And a man in the presence of a a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man, it draws out his strength. She inspires him to be a hero."

"The woman God had in mind when he made Eve...and when he made you. Glorious, powerful, and captivating."

"Rather than asking, 'What should a woman do-what is her role?' it would be far more helpful to ask, 'What is a woman-what is her design?' and 'Why did God place Woman in out midst?'"

Reading and Praying.

Is there such thing as separation anxiety and depression combined? Like, separation depression? Not that I hate being at home, but I got so used to my busy life at school; filled with people every where, nonstop talking and late nights. And here, I am alone half of my day, and work the other half. I am just so bored. I try to fill my time with errands, beach time, working out, reading my Bible, reading books in general and such, but I overall I just want to be with people. I miss my JMU family.

My parents and brother go to bed at like 9 or 10, but I dont fall asleep until like 1 or 2. That's four, I REPEAT, four hours of silence and alone time. I am a huge fan of alone time, but not everyday.

And most of all, I need my rock star back in my life.

But I know that I am here for a reason. God's got my back. He knows what he is doing, and that is where I find my joy.

I just keep reading and praying. Reading and praying. Reading and praying.

2 Samuel 22:31-33 "As for God, his way is perfect. The word of the Lord is proven. He is a shield to all who trust in him. For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? God is my strength and my power. And he makes my way perfect."

Serendipity?

I may or may not have took an hour and a half nap on the beach today. Okay, I totally did. And it was so amazing. Let me just tell you how much I love the beach: a lot. It was a bit chilly, but I loved being wrapped up in my towel. The ocean put me to sleep. AND, I got a little sun. Hallelujah!

The rest of my day was so good too! Disregard the fact that I had to miss church this morning because of work. Kind of upsetting, but after Memorial weekend, I am hoping to get my Sunday's off again once everyone is finally back in town. But, I did go to church tonight! And I even had dinner with Olivia and Chase at Dumser's. Yay for rootbeer floats! Oh, and even though I my game was totally off, volley ball was fun too. P.S. Sorry to my team for making us lose about 8 points, my bad.

I really needed a break, and some time with my church friends. So bad. After working a double, I was just so so so tired. I missed actually having a life. But I finally feel like I have my Christian support again. I haven't felt that since I left JMU.

Moo-La!

Oh muh gawrsh, I'm tired. Who knew that Cruiser Weekend would actually affect little old Warren's Station?! I don't think I have seen that many people come in before the week before cruiser weekend. Sheesh. Yeah, all of the cool vintage cars everywhere are kind of neat, but I could do without the sudden flow of people coming into the restaurant with only five waitresses on the floor. I was sweating my booty off. But hey, at least I actually made some money tonight! *Insert happy dance here!*

Now before people start saying anything, let me just say, I am not one for holding money as a high priority. But with an apartment to pay for and school to survive, making money feels so bueno! Not that 100 bucks is a lot, but it's enough!

The Life, the Work, and the Wardrobe.

The only two things I have worn this past week are: my work clothes (move your eyes upward please) and my bum pajamas. I think a wardrobe change is seriously needed here. Shall we add a bathing suit? Oh yeah, I can't. Because the weather is being lame times ten!

But seriously, in addition to a wardrobe change, I need to seriously re-evaluate my life home this summer. I need a small life change. This past week has been, well to say the least, not at all what I expected. When I was at school, what I missed most about home was being with my friends, making money, the beach days, and my family. Well. I've seen all the friends I really want to see. I am making money (if any at all, because people don't know how to tip at least 15%, ergh). There have been no good beach days. And I love my family and all, but SHEESH, waking me up in the morning to clean the house? Couldn't that have waited until like, uhm, noon instead of nine in the morning?! (P.S. I am by no means a morning person, so I was not to thrilled about doing that.)

So let's re-evaluate here:

I felt a bajillion times closer to God when I was at school. I need to find that again. Personal devotions and Bible studies need to be at full speed. Along with hanging with my gang at youth group. And prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.

I feel like a lazy bum. I have worked out twice since I've been home. No, wait. Three times? Ergh, I don't know. Either way: It's not enough. So I joined a gym. Now I just need to get my key card so I can go after work. Woo hoo!

I spend way to much time watching movies. So I got a good book, a.k.a. Captivating. But I still need to find more ways to spend my time away from a screen. Get out the gee-tar again? I think so.

And sleep?! Oh muh gawrsh. If I sleep past noon one more time, I may have to punish myself. Someone please help me make sure I wake up?! Cause I stink at it, regardless of the number of alarms I set. I think my record is seven alarms, but don't quote me on that.

Two Thumbs Up.

Because I am such a dork sometimes, I spent a few hours today watching this documentary. It's called Waste Land. And it was. So. Good. Now, it may just be my appreciation for art or  my weakness for the humble-hearted, but this movie was so beautiful.

The artist, Vik Muniz, make art out of the trash found in the world's largest landfill in Brazil. There are people there who make a living picking through the trash to find recyclable materials. They are called "pickers." Muniz took portraits of a few of the pickers he had met, and with their help, and turned them into huge portraits in a studio using only materials found from the dump. They were amazing! The best part is, all proceeds made from the portraits were given directly back to these people to help them get out of the dump and help them better their lives.

A movie like this does two things. One, makes your realize how awesome we have it here in the states. The homes these people live in look like gross shacks to us, but to them, it is a home. And two, makes me want to do missions ten times more. People assume that the pickers are all drug addicts, prostitutes and alcoholics, because that is what the internet tells them. But talking to the people showed that that they are just trying to survive, are kind hearted, are proud to be pickers, and most of all, need help.

Like seriously, look at these portraits. ALL. MADE. OUT. OF. TRASH. OHHH MUHH GAWRSH!

She is a professionally trained cook, but found herself in the dump. She cooks food, right there within the trash, for all of the pickers, using the neglected food and meat from the markets that come in on the dump trucks.

He is the president of the association that represents the pickers. You'd be amazed at how smart he is. He reads all of the books he finds in the dump, that people have thrown away. 

This girl is 18 years old with three kids, and has to spend weeks away from them at a time at the dump to support them.

My favorite one.

Women.

I finished reading Crazy Love (So good by the way!). And I just started reading "Captivating" by Stasi Eldridge. Mind you, I am only a dozen or so pages into the book, but it is SO good thus far. There is so much truth in it about the women's heart and what it means to be a woman in the image of God.

Here are some really cool passages and quotes and such from the book so far:

"Think about it: God created you as a woman. Whatever it means to bear God's image, you do so as a woman. Female. That's how and where you bear his image. Your feminine heart has been created with the greatest of all possible dignities: as a reflection of God's own heart. You are a woman to your soul, to the very core of your being. And so the journey to discover what God meant when he created woman in his image, when he created you as his woman. That journey begins with desire."

"We're all living in the shadow of that infamous icon, "The Proverbs 31 Woman," whose life is so busy I wonder when does she have time for friendships, for taking walks, or reading good books? Her light never goes out at night? When does she have sex? Somehow she has sanctified the shame most women live under, biblical proof that yet again we don't measure up? Is that supposed to be Godly? That sense that you are a failure as a woman?" (You have to read the entire passage to understand the context, but nonetheless interesting.)

"There is something fierce in the heart of a women.... A woman is a warrior too. But she is meant to be a warrior in a uniquely feminine way. Sometime before the sorrows of life did their best to kill it in us, most young women wanted to be a part of something grand, something important.... And what about women like Ester and Mary and Ruth? They were biblical characters who had irreplaceable roles in a Great Story. Not "safe" and "nice" women, not merely "sweet," but passionate and powerful women who were beautiful as warriors."

"She was no longer eighty; She was ageless. God has set eternity in our hearts. The longing to be beautiful is set there as well."

The King is enthralled by your beauty. (Psalms 45:11)

I MUST!

I've been home for a little over a week now. And let me tell you, I have done nothing but eat, sleep and work. Not exactly the fabulous summer I imagined, but again, it's only been a week. And the weather here has been, well to say the least, pathetic. COLD AND CLOUDY AND RAINY?! Really. Ugh. I need a beach day. Now.

I have been having the worst trouble lately with falling asleep. Exam week always messes with my sleep schedule's head. Bleh. I think the earliest I have fallen asleep in the last few days, regardless of how early I actually laid down in my bed, is about two a.m. But even worse, I have even more trouble waking up in the morning. I have resorted to setting five, I repeat FIVE, alarms. Yet, I still manage to sleep through them? Go figure.

But for real this time, I plan to start my summer work out slash diet this week (a.k.a tomorrow). I gave my self a nice week of rest and relaxation, but now it's time to get back in business. Tomorrow I shall wake up, get my pass to Sea Colony, work out, get my brother pins all set up, drop the pins off, maybe even squeeze sending my books back to Chegg.com in there, and then head to work (again).

I must start being productive! I must. I must. I must.

Yup.

It took me FOREVER to unpack. I lost my room in all the madness. But no worries, I found it again. 

On a side note, I think my dog missed me. He won't leave me alone.