Become as Little Children

I just spent the last two days helping my mother in her third grade classroom. Let me repeat that. I just spent the last two days helping my mother in her third grade classroom. I have one word for you: hyper. Oh muh gawrsh, those little eight and nine year olds are so fun. But good gracious, they have more energy than I did after drinking soda for the first time in a nine months. 

It really was fun though. The first day I just helped my mom with basic needs around the classroom. You know: cutting things, glueing things, cleaning. The works. The second half of the day my mom had her Christmas party and I got to help serve food, assist with crafts and play my guitar for them while they sang songs. First of all, they thought the song thing was awesome. It was hysterical. They all got up and screamed the Christmas songs at the top of their lungs. I didn't even have to sing.

The second day was their last day before Christmas break. Yeah, they were a tad excited and hyper. And loud. Oh yes, were they loud. But I must say, it was a lot different than the day before. The entire third grade had their Christmas around the world activity. Each third grade teacher's classroom was a different "country" and the kids traveled from classroom to classroom learning about how different countries celebrate the holidays. My mom's room was Germany. And, apparently in Germany, they have a pickle ornament that the parents hide on the tree, and the first kid to find the pickle on the tree gets an extra gift from Saint Nicholas. So they got to make their own pickle ornaments, which they loved. In real life, they are usually glass ornaments. But they made their own felt and paper ones that looked like this:

Literally, they thought that the pickle thing so cool. Then we let them try gingersnaps, because gingerbread is apparently popular in Germany. And then we sang two songs (while I played guitar again) that supposedly came from Germany: Silent Night and Oh Christmas Tree. It took all day, and my mom taught the lesson five different times to each class that came to her "country."

I think the funniest part of the entire was when my cousin Zach came in to help out too. His mom (my aunt) works at the same elementary school as a librarian, and he was helping her in the library. But when he got bored, he came to my moms room. And to make things even more complicated, my little sister, Olivia, was in one of the third grade classes that my mom taught. My parents are divorced, so my mom and my little sister are not related since Olivia is from my dad's second marriage. And my cousin Zach and I are related because of my mom's second marriage. Zach and I are really close in age, so the moment he walked in, I got a million questions. 

"Is that your boyfriend?!" 

"No."

"Oh, is that you're twin?"

"No."

"Oh. Is that you're brother?"

"No. That is my cousin."

"Are you Olivia's sister?"

"Yes."

"But Mrs. Stong (a.k.a. my mom) is not her mom!"

"You're right she is not. We have different moms."

"Then how are you sisters?!"

"Because we have the same dad."

"If you and Zach are cousins, are Zach and Olivia cousins?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because we have different moms."

"Is Mrs. Murray (Zach's mom, my aunt) Olivia's aunt?"

"Nope."
"Why do you all have different last names?"
"It's a long story."

"I'm confused."

They were all sorts of confused. But they were laughing the entire time. They found it comical. I couldn't help but laugh too. I was cracking up. Because you half to admit, to a little kid, it is quite confusing. Heck, it's confusing to me as well. 

I love how humble little kids are. They find the smallest things entertaining, and find the simplest things hysterical. They aren't afraid to ask questions, or act completely silly. 

Matthew 18:3-4: And he said, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Sometimes we get so caught up in the "big kid" things of our lives. We tend to thing of everything as complicated, hard, difficult, or organized. But sometimes we need to change our perspective, humble ourselves, and look at the world like little kids. Or like third graders who love singing songs, making homemade pickle ornaments, or find humor in a confusing family.

I Want to Set the World on Fire

"I want to set the world on fire, 

Until it's burning bright for you.

It's everything that I desire,

Can I be the one you use?"

It's been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, here is what I say: one word is worth a thousand thoughts, a dozen of emotions, and countless meanings. Words can be that little match that starts an entire forest fire. Can you imagine it? Saying something, or writing something, that makes people question not only themselves, but you as well?

Everyone has that moment in life that sticks with them forever. There is that one thing that someone said to you, or something that you heard, that has shaped your life in a way that seems almost absurd. And no, I am not talking about the obvious things-like graduating from school, or going on a missions trip. Those things will shape your life forever and it's obvious. No, I am talking about those small, insignificant sentences that someone blurts out at a random, everyday moment. It shoots you in the heart and the bullet never leaves.

For me, it was a sermon about God's love that I heard in high school at a huge Christian youth rally. The man speaking pulled out a genuine one-hundred dollar bill, held it up to the crowd of several thousand students and said, "Who wants it?" At first, everyone looked around, confused. He proceeded, "No, seriously, I found this money on the floor, and I feel bad for keeping it. So, who wants it?" Of course, everyone in the audience, especially those people lucky enough to be sitting up front, stood up and waved their hands spastically in the air.

"Are you sure you want it?" he asked. "I mean, I found it on the floor. It probably has been stepped on, and their is a lot of dirt on it." The spasitc hand waving didn't stop, and it had morphed into screaming. One kid, at this point, was even standing on his chair and screaming "DUDE, I WANT THE MONEY!"

The speaker licked the hundred dollar bill. "Do you still want it?" The screams didn't cease. Everyone still wanted that money, really bad.

At the time, I didn't know why, but the speaker took the hundred dollar bill, put it in his mouth and chewed it. He spit it out, and while it was covered in saliva, he flattened back out and held it up. "Do you still want it?" The screaming didn't cease. Even though the money was dripping in spit, the value was still there.

The speaker then took the dollar bill, and ripped it a little bit. A little down the middle, ripped the two of the corners off, and some other random places on the side. Ripped just enough to look scraggly, but not ripped enough to lose it's value. "Do you still want it?" he asked. The screaming did not cease.

The speaker then took out a lighter and burnt the edges a little bit. Again, the money was burnt, but not enough to lose it's value. "Do you still want it?" he asked. The screaming did not cease.

He continued like this for several minutes, slowly making that hundred dollar bill more and more tattered. But never enough that it lost it's value, and the audience only became more anxious, and wanted that money even more.

Eventually it stopped, and the speaker looked out in the audience. He said, "God treasures you. He wants you more than anything. And just like you wanted this money, no matter how tattered, or dirty, or scarred. God wants you, no matter how tattered, or dirty, or scarred. Just like you all were screaming for this money, God is screaming for you. He wants you." By that point, the screaming had ceased.

It hit me hard. They were only spoken words. But, nevertheless, the hit me hard. What that speaker had only planned as a creative illustration for God's love, had been the match to my forest fire. I have never forget that speaker, or what he said. It has kind of stuck with me ever since then.

I hope I can be like that to other people. Unlike that speaker, I may never be in the position to talk to thousands of people at once, but that doesn't mean that people aren't listening. Whatever you say is heard. Whatever I say, is heard. I hope I can be that small voice in other's people's lives that tells them truth.

But be warned, what you say is not heard as coming from just another person on the street. It is heard as coming from a Christian. So be aware, that whatever you say, whether good or bad, can be the match that starts someone's forest fire. And that can be a positive or a negative thing.

Like I said before, can you imagine saying something, or writing something, that makes people question not only themselves, but you as well? I put the emphasis on the "you as well." part. Claiming yourself as a Christian makes you one of two things in this world: a leader, or an enemy. People will look at you differently, so be conscious of everything you say and do, because, to other people, it is a reflection of what you stand for, a.k.a. Jesus Christ.

Ecclesiastes 5:2-4 "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." It simpler terms, that means, watch what you say, and only speak what will build and comfort others, because you never know who is listening in. And you never know how that will affect them and their future walk with Christ.

So from here on out, I say that we, together, make a pact to be true lights of God through our speech and actions. Just as Colossians 3:8 says, "But now you are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, and filthy language out of your mouth."

Do you really want to give Jesus Christ a bad name by saying one small sentence and having it affect someone's life forever? 

Nope, I didn't think so. 

**I don't write this in a proud manner. I fail at this too often. I write this as humbly as possible. It is something I have reflected upon myself, and I wondered if others needed a helping hand as well.

A Little Bit Of Tweakin'

One good thing about being on Christmas break? You get a lot of alone time. After being surrounded by people literally all day, everyday in classes, work, and in my apartment, it's almost strange when I sit in a quiet room. I finally get to hear my own thoughts.

And here is what I have been thinking. My last post seemed kind of selfish. I ranted on and on about what I wanted to do with my life, and about what I thought was best for me. How stupid of me. It should not be about that. It should be about Him, and only Him, and about what He wants for me.

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 - "Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor. And this was my reward from all my labor. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled; And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun."

Talk about a shot in the heart, ya know? Sometimes you read things that make you go "Hmm" and make you question what you have already done.

I think the problem with most college students is the over-advertised belief that college is a time for self-exploration and seizing opportunities to secure your dream lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with dreaming, seizing awesome opportunities, or learning about yourself. The issues arises when it starts becoming truly self-absorbed, and not God oriented. It becomes "my dreams" rather than "my dreams for serving God."

I think that is where I am at right now, and I know I am not alone. Or, at least I hope not. I look back on my last post and realize that, again, there is nothing wrong with any of those dreams. The ambitions to travel and write are not a negative. In fact, they are beautiful dreams. I just need to ensure that I am doing them for all the right reasons.

As Ecclesiastes says, "There is no profit under the sun." So there is no point in desiring a life of things, because the moment you die, those things become nothing to you. All you will have left is the life you lead, and the day of judgement. Do you really think getting a promotion, buying a house, or driving a nice car will be of any affect when you stand before the throne? Nope.

So rather than changing all of aspirations, I will tweak them. And I suggest you do the same. I still want to back pack through Europe. But I pray that I can do that and talk to people about Jesus along the way, and truly humble myself through a short journey with nothing but the necessities on my back. I still want to write and travel at the same time, but I pray I can shine a light into the lives of other people through my travels and my words. And as for the book, I pray that it truly can serve a purpose, rather than just writing a story about a sparkly vampire romance.

And if none of those things happen, I won't be upset. But I won't stop working hard.

Live For Real.

This picture is from Goa, India. Like I said, I have recently been a little obsessed with this blog. I just love reading about her travels. She had 24 hours in Goa and posted about this little beach hut she stayed in a for while. No electric, lots of sun. As she said in her blog, to make the most of your beach hut, rise with the sun. I just want to do something like this one day, and when I think about that, I just think of one more thing....

The future scares me.

I sit here and watch my some friends of mine graduate, others who are preparing to graduate in the spring, and others who are stocking up their resume for when they do graduate. Meanwhile, here I am sitting in my apartment bedroom, at midnight, watching International House Hunters merely wishing that I could be searching for an apartment in Poland or Paris. And then, of course, I feel like I am being surrounded by dozens of stories about aspiring writers and journalist who are slowly making the transition from bottom-of-the-barrel to successful.

Where does that leave me?

And no, I am not scared as in "worried out of my mind" and "stressed to death." No. Not that. When I say that I am scared, I mean that I have not taken a step forward in any single direction. So, there are dozens, hundreds even, of routes I could take. And I feel like I am just standing in the middle of the intersection trying to decide which road to take. It's like a scared that is equivalent to too-many-options-and-freaking-out.

It could be worse, I know. I could have no options. But I just really wish I could narrow it down. Like a specific job I want to gain. Or a specific place I want to travel to. Or a specific goal that I want to achieve.

I have never been the kind of person to hold expectations or goals at extreme priority. Meaning, I have never really clung to one goal or expectation because of the fear of not meeting them, which only leads to disappointment. But, here are a few words of advice: That doesn't really work.  Disappointment is a part of life, and I have realized lately that I really need to pick a goal and work my booty off to get to it. And that is with or without disappointment. I just need to go for it.

There are a lot of things I have wanted in life, but I didn't necessarily cling to them. And the consequence was that realization that I had given up too much of my dreams and was, in the end, dreaming of nothing. If that makes sense?

So here are few things that I have decided that I really need to do for myself.
1. Go backpacking in Europe. I don't want a single reservation booked or excursion planned. I just want a group of friends, a full back pack, and an open itinerary for a few weeks to see where it leads me.
2. Write a book. I could care less if it becomes a best seller or known at all. I just want to write something worth reading, and something that I am proud of.
3. Find a way to get paid for traveling and writing all in one. It's a long shot, because there is a very small market for that kind of thing. But, wouldn't that be awesome?
4. Go on a long term international missions trip. And by that I mean, not just a few days or weeks. I mean, like live in another country for months at a time to show the light of Christ.

Those are the four main ones I have decided to cling to at the moment. They may change, or I may add some more. But those are the ones I want to achieve before I am too old to do any of them

I can't wait. I can't wait to live. Live for real.

Freedom!

Reason #214 that I love JMU: Because school actually becomes MORE entertaining during finals week.

Welp, ladies and gents, there goes another semester. I am three for three in my college career, and it feels rather swell. The only problem now is getting over what has recently been deemed "Tay-Syndrome", also known as, being-bored-with-nothing-to-do blues. I seriously am not the type that can just do nothing. Yes, I know I kind of complain about being so busy and so overwhelmed sometimes, but I really do love it. I need something to do, or something planned, or something to work for, otherwise I just feel lazy and don't get out of bed.

The verdict is looking good. I think I may over come this rare syndrome. Natalie and I were both inflicted this afternoon, only hours after our semester ended. So we decided to get up and do something productive. First, we had a Barnes and Nobles date. Yeah, it sounds weird, but I could literally spend hours in there. And they have coffee! So we sat and talked for a bit in there. Then we took a short stroll around down town, and finally came back to my apartment where we had craft time. We made a few Christmas gifts for a few special people. And I now have a new friend living in my room with me! (Click here to see him!). Isn't he just adorbs? Well, I thought so.

Oh and on a side note, you should look at this blog. It's pretty much what I want to do with my life. Travel, and write about it. And, this girl is doing for a master's degree! Mind = blown.

This Picture.

This picture describes the only three things I really need in life. Coffee, Jesus, and SAO.

(Add in my family and best friends in there too, but I had no way of putting that into a picture).

This has been one of the hardest weeks I have had to deal with in a while.

Not THE hardest, but nonetheless, really hard.

Good night world, I am going to sleep before I have to take this horrific Spanish exam tomorrow. 

Currently...

Obessing over: the Frank Sinatra Pandora station. I put it on in the morning and it literally just puts me in such a chipper mood. But, seriously, you should do it. It just makes you want to drink hot chocolate, skip with while swinging a cane, and dance like old couples.

Working on: My extremely large final essay for my Humanities literature class. I haven't written a word yet because I am having major writer's block. Fail.

Thinking about: My sister. A picture popped up on my computer of me and her messing around with Photobooth and I missed her.

Anticipating: Being done with school for the semester. Need I say more?

Listening to: See the line labeled "Obsessing over"

Drinking: Water out of the new Camelback water bottle I just bought a few days ago. I'm pretty excited about it actually, only because I never wanted to buy one because they are so darn expensive!

Wishing: That there was such thing as the "Essay Writing Fairy." That would awe-to-the-some.

Love Letters

To everyone, you should read this. Especially if you are stressed this week because of finals.

Two Words: Finals Week

This picture explains how I have been feeling all week: drained. And I know I am not the only one. Almost every single school I know has exams this week or next. Ours is next week, but of course, over half of my exams are this week, and the other half are on Monday of next week. So, needless to say, I have a lot do this week and this weekend. But, hey, on the bright side, I will be done this semester by Monday.....can I get a fistpump?!