BLOG HAS MOVED! :)

Hey there!
I have a new blog: tayhudson.wordpress.com

You should totally head over there. It's new, and still under construction. But I felt like it was time to revamp the blog, and make it a bit more professional and useful.

This blog will still exist! I just will be posting over there from now on :)

When in a bad mood, attack with shaving cream.

I just thought I would post these photos for your viewing pleasure.

Is it Summer Yet?

(My roommates acting a fool in the snow.)

It's hard to believe--but, this time two weeks ago, there was several inches of snow on the ground. And, today, I am sporting a tank top and a hint of a sunburn.

My motivation went from two opposite ends of the spectrum in a matter of a week. I used to open my eyes in the morning only to dread taking off the covers to reveal my body to the Alaskan-climate that is my basement bedroom. Now, I wake up and look out the window to see a painfully bright sun and a thermometer that reads above 75 degrees. Let's just say, I don't hate it.

I actually desire to do things with my day and it is fantastic.

And this weather only makes me wish for summer. Quad days would only be fulfilling if it had warm sand and the sound of ocean waves.

Speaking of summer, I am interested to see how God is going to use me in these upcoming months. I stepped out my comfort zone a bit and finally decided to leave the restaurant I've been working at for the past six years. Obviously, it may not seem like a monumental step to anyone but myself. But, it is kind of bitter sweet knowing that I will not have that sense comfort and familiarity this summer.

I got a job a new restaurant--much bigger, much busier, and different atmosphere. None of it is bad, but just different.

And to top it all off, the church that I have been going to since I was little has monumentally changed in the past year. My youth pastor, who was essentially my Christian mentor, moved to VA beach and that kind of had a multiplier effect. Services have changed, times have changed, and people have changed. Again, this all isn't bad; it's just different.

It's almost like I'm going home to someplace that isn't my home. It won't be the same familiar summer line-up. It will most definitely be experimental, and I'm a trusting that God will use it in a positive

Food For Thought.

1 John 4:7-12. In many different ways.

NASB -7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.

NKJV - 7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.

NIV - 7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

NLT - 7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

Life Lessons

There are many things I have learned through out my short 21 years of living. But, I feel as if I must lay out a few of those lessons here and now.

1. Coffee is essential to daily life. So, embrace the caffeine addiction and make sure you never miss a cup of jo in the morning.
2. When you own a dog, it is part of the family. It isn't a pet. It is a brother or sister. A cousin. A grandchild.
3. The beach is a little sliver of heaven on Earth. And, no matter how many times you have to leave, all you are ever going to want is to go back. And, when you are there, you love every second of it.
4. Don't underestimate the power of loyalty. Be loyal in everything, from your career, to your favorite Philly sports team. 
5. The phrase "Happy wife, happy life" is no joke. And this means sacrificing even the best part of a crab--the claws--and giving them to your wife (note the bag of claws in the picture below). Pure proof that love for your wife should be, and is, concrete.

All of this I learned from my Pop-Pop. I miss you and love you. 

Rest in peace.

September 11, 1938 - March 10, 2013

Dear Family, I Love You.

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts.  ~Author Unknown

Believe it or not, one of the most important things I have learned while being at college is an appreciation for my family. The saying holds true: you don't know what you have until it is gone. As much as I hate to admit it, I didn't appreciated my family as much as I should have growing up.

I have never not loved them. And I have never not known how awesome they were. And I have never been ashamed of my family.

I just simply didn't appreciate them.

Over spring break, I decided it would be fun to mess around with my camera a tad and force my unsuspecting siblings into being my models. They hesitantly agreed, and although I'm sure they'd refuse to admit it, they had fun too.

It's so intriguing to me to watch their personalities shine through the pictures. And, now, I can look through the pictures that I took whenever I am home sick and feel much closer to them--physically--because the pictures remind me so much of them in real life.

While I am at school, I miss being able to bicker with Max. I miss interrupting Connor while he is playing video games. I miss talking to Jared about OM. I miss Olivia sitting on my lap and playing with my hair while trying to watch TV. I miss talking to my mom about, well, everything. I miss my dad's cooking. And I miss my stepdad's extremely corny jokes.

So, here's the readers digest version of this post.  Dear family, I miss and appreciate you.

A Broken Arm, A Lesson Learned.

I would be lying if I said that breaking my arm was the most difficult thing I've ever experienced. In fact, in hind sight, the whole situation was extremely humorous and makes for a killer story. And, my scar from the surgery is enough to start a conversation.

But, I will say that, even though the actual break wasn't a struggle for me, the helplessness and inadequacy I felt because of the injury was. 

Those four days in between the fall in the surgery were the worst. The simplest things--taking a shower, brushing my teeth, putting on a shirt--were literally impossible. No matter which way I moved, my arm that simply sat broken in a temporary cast, would shoot a sharp pain through my entire arm and down my side. I couldn't even sleep more than two hours straight a night, because one simple movement would wake me up with tears in my eyes.

I had this false assumption that, after my surgery, everything would be fixed. Everything would be back to normal, and I could simply forget all of silliness that was my broken arm. But, no. Of course not. According to my doctor, I had a numberless about of pins in my arms, and I would not regain full range of motion due to the extent of the injury. And, it would be another two months before I could drive, and another 4 months until I could lift anything heavier than a few pounds. 

Meanwhile, here I am at home getting extremely frustrated with myself. It's like that scene from Soul Surfer where Bethany Hamilton is convinced she can continue on normally once she gets home from the hospital, only to find that she can't even open a pack of bread. 

Yes, I realize I am lucky. And I realize that, unlike Bethany Hamilton  I still have both of my arms. But, that doesn't diminish the amount of frustration I felt after my surgery. I genuinely couldn't lift a cup of coffee--it was way too heavy and I felt like I was going to drop it. I couldn't stretch a hair tie with my hand--my fingers would just shake and my arm would ache in pain. I couldn't even walk around for more than 20 minutes without my arm blowing up like a balloon. 

I felt so incompetent and helpless and dependent. And, if you know me, you know that I tend to be too independent and hard-headed for my own good. So, this lack of control and increase in dependency literally irritated me. I spent my entire Thanksgiving and Christmas break feeling overwhelmingly frustrated with myself. I couldn't do anything without even a little assistance.

Of course, ever since my surgery, this feeling of inadequacy hasn't exactly faded. I haven't been able to do a lot of things because of my arm. And, it still frustrates me. 

I realize all of this sounds rather negative and "complainy", but I assure you my outlook has changed. Only now, four months since the original fall, do I see the benefit of breaking my arm.

First and foremost, God utilized my fear to make me rely completely on Him. I realize for a lot of people, surgery isn't that big of a deal. But, for me, the thought of being unconscious for 6 hours on an operation table legitimately terrified me. And, no matter what any of my friends or family said to me, I just wanted to burst out in tears. God knew that--so He put me in a position where only He could comfort me. 

Second, God helped me prioritize my relationships. It was in the hospital where I realized that my family is one of the most important parts of my lives. And, my dearest friends showed their compassion as well. From this experience, I was able to weed out by good friends, from my best friends. Plus, I only had my family to talk to when I was limited to a bed or couch for weeks, so my relationships with my family grew much stronger.

Third, God is challenging my understanding of beauty. For the last few months, I have seen myself as broken and morphed. I've seen my left arm as forever ugly--birthmark, six inch incision scar, and an elbow incapable of straightening. Meanwhile, I have God whispering in my ear, saying, "Do you really think beauty is based on your skin? Come on now. You are made in My image. Am I not beautiful?"

But, most importantly, as I hinted at in the beginning of this post, God has challenged my sense of independence. I thoroughly believed that independence was something to strive for, but I have learned that dependency is beautiful, and helps humble a heart.

I've tried my best to not complain about my arm. And shy away from talking about it. But, I keep failing and always fall into this long winded complaint or repeating my story over and over again.

And for that I apologize, because I don't mean to be a negative Nelly or an attention seeker. It's just my natural response to my arms and it's effects on my confidence and relationships, and it's something that I've been trying to work on. 

Shameless Selfie.

There is just something about a cute outfit and a good hair day. I've been in the best mood all day.

And, yes, I took a selfie. Sorry, not sorry.

Taylor and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

This week has had a very reoccurring theme: Taylor's own stupidity and lack of a thought process has lead to an unnecessarily annoying week.

First, I lost my keychain with two USB drives on it. Fantastic. So, I got to say good bye to two semesters worth of lecture notes, readings, articles, sorority documents, and my in-progress novel. Yippee.

I missed both the Bachelor and Pretty Little Liars because I was in the library trying to rewrite everything I lost on my USB drives.

I have three exams next week that I am no where near prepared for.

Then, for some strange reason, I am having extreme difficulty when it comes to remembering where I park my car in the morning. My days are so long that, by the time that I am heading back to my car late at night, I realize I am on the opposite side of campus from where I parked my car that morning. Rough.

And to top it all off, Starbucks ceased it's BOGO deal as soon as I wanted coffee. Lame!

Okay, but really; do I not sound like a spoiled brat right now?

Not cool, Taylor. Not cool.

As much as this week has been a little bummy, I've had to tell myself several times to SHUT UP. THIS IS ALL MINUSCULE AND STUPID. Does anyone else find themselves turning into a Negative Nesbit when they happen to wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

I know I do. If I ever start sounding like a fun-sucker, call me out on it.

Instead, let me tell you of somethings I am thankful for this week.

One: I have two jobs with awesome co-workers who deal with my awkwardness and relatively recent disorganization.

Two: I have a community of Christian women that I get to hang out with every day; whether that be for moral support or random giggles.

Three: I feel so good! I've lost weight, almost at 13 pounds I think? And I haven't caught the nasty sinus infection that has been going around (knock on wood).

Fourth:  My Pop-Pop is feeling a bit better!

Fifth: I haven't gotten any less than six hours of sleep a night; hallelujah!

And sixth: I had a good hair day today.

There, that's better. I need to learn to make positive lists more often. And maybe, just maybe, all the negatives will make less of a presence in my silly little mind.

Random Thoughts

Here are my random thoughts for the day.

1) I learned today that bacon-flavored ice cream actually exists. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

2) Your day is always infinitely better when you have a good hair day.

3) My grandparents make me smile (a.k.a. the pictures below).

Humility.

"It's almost impossible to offend a humble person." - Bryan Loritts

Point blank: Humility is something I struggle with. A lot.

I'll admit that I like being right. I like the feeling of leadership. I like being able to say that I've done a good job at something. Of course, there is nothing wrong with truth, leadership, or completing a job well-done. No, of course not. All of those are good things, but in moderation. And, for some reason, I continuously cross the line between "good" and "thinking I'm good."

I can't shake it. My life would be so radically different if humility was engrained into my brain.

Arguing with my brother, who is six years younger than me? Wouldn't happen.
Dodge a conversation about Christ to the girl sitting next to me on the bus? Wouldn't happen.
Complaining about my so-called bad day? Wouldn't happen.
Do you want the reader's digest version? A majority of my daily actions and words wouldn't occur if I had a humble mindset.

It amazes me how such a seemingly isolated struggle actually permeates into a majority of the areas in my life.

I really started recognizing this struggle when I read this quote: "It's almost impossible to offend a humble person." 

Primarily, the quote made me think because I realized how often I get offended over the most idiotic things--drivers who cut me off, people who butt me in the line at Starbucks, or professors who give me a low grade on a paper that I worked hours on. 

Some how, in all of those minuscule daily situations, I convinced myself that my agenda and my sense of self is of higher priority than anything else. Some how, in some way, my flesh convinced my mind that my car should be of highest respect on the road. That I deserve my coffee first because I had been waiting a whole 60 seconds longer. Or, that I know more than the professor. 

Never once do I reflect on the fact that maybe, just maybe, the car that cut me off was rushing in an emergency. Or, that the girl that cut me in line just made a mistake and didn't see me. Or, that I actually made a mistake on my paper because I didn't fully read the prompt.

Second, I think the quote hit me hard because I realized, comparatively, I have nothing to be upset or offended about. At Passion, my Community Group leader gave his testimony. He grew up Muslim, but as a teenager-ish age, he became a Christian. As a result, his father disowned him. It amazed me how much humility he had, to sacrifice the only "normal" life he had known and the relationship with his family to become a Christian. 

I realized then how much humility I lacked; because I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to give up my familial relationships, if that is what it came down too. Because, I put to much priority on my own happiness and my own relationships.

So, here is my challenge to myself. Every time--every single time--that I feel even the slightest offense, I will keep my mouth shut. And I will just pray. Because, 9.9 times out of 10, the issue is not with the person doing the offending, but with me.

My reaction is a reflection of my heart, and if I cannot humble myself enough to avoid offense in simple situations, than it is clear that I need to work on something. 

If can learn humility, then I can start learning love. Peace. Boldness. Beauty. And everything that only come from learning to trust and prioritize God, rather than myself. 

Happy Happens Happenings....

Isn't that quite the mouth-full?

I know I haven't written much on here. But, it's been kind of a dry writing spell for me. I've started to write a lot of blogs, but I guess I've been extra picky and hated everything I've written. So, no posts. But, in case you are interested in any part of my life, here are some random snapshots of my life recently.

I was blessed enough to get a new camera for Christmas. You could say I'm a little obsessed. I was taking pictures of everything, just trying to get a mediocre understanding of how to work the dang thing.

Models of choice? Dogs and my sister.

We visited my Stepdad's side of the family after Christmas. Again, I was a little camera happy when it came to watching my cousin and brother playing in the snow.

But, of course, the highlight of my last few months was Passion 2013. God really broke me down and built me back up.

And, in case you are still reading and really are that interested, here are some random 'Grams from the last few months.

    Books and Bible.Broken glasses and temper tantrums. Warm cuddles and Cheesecake. Misfit mugs and sister visits. Matching jammies and Striped Gold group.