A Little Bit Of Tweakin'

One good thing about being on Christmas break? You get a lot of alone time. After being surrounded by people literally all day, everyday in classes, work, and in my apartment, it's almost strange when I sit in a quiet room. I finally get to hear my own thoughts.

And here is what I have been thinking. My last post seemed kind of selfish. I ranted on and on about what I wanted to do with my life, and about what I thought was best for me. How stupid of me. It should not be about that. It should be about Him, and only Him, and about what He wants for me.

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 - "Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor. And this was my reward from all my labor. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled; And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun."

Talk about a shot in the heart, ya know? Sometimes you read things that make you go "Hmm" and make you question what you have already done.

I think the problem with most college students is the over-advertised belief that college is a time for self-exploration and seizing opportunities to secure your dream lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with dreaming, seizing awesome opportunities, or learning about yourself. The issues arises when it starts becoming truly self-absorbed, and not God oriented. It becomes "my dreams" rather than "my dreams for serving God."

I think that is where I am at right now, and I know I am not alone. Or, at least I hope not. I look back on my last post and realize that, again, there is nothing wrong with any of those dreams. The ambitions to travel and write are not a negative. In fact, they are beautiful dreams. I just need to ensure that I am doing them for all the right reasons.

As Ecclesiastes says, "There is no profit under the sun." So there is no point in desiring a life of things, because the moment you die, those things become nothing to you. All you will have left is the life you lead, and the day of judgement. Do you really think getting a promotion, buying a house, or driving a nice car will be of any affect when you stand before the throne? Nope.

So rather than changing all of aspirations, I will tweak them. And I suggest you do the same. I still want to back pack through Europe. But I pray that I can do that and talk to people about Jesus along the way, and truly humble myself through a short journey with nothing but the necessities on my back. I still want to write and travel at the same time, but I pray I can shine a light into the lives of other people through my travels and my words. And as for the book, I pray that it truly can serve a purpose, rather than just writing a story about a sparkly vampire romance.

And if none of those things happen, I won't be upset. But I won't stop working hard.