Cancer Never Sleeps.

It has been almost two years.

When I was a senior in high school, I was forced to do senior project in order to showcase the skills I had learned in the four years of my high school career. But, it is weird how something that you are forced to do, can morph into an experience that imprints who you are as a person.

I raised money for a pediatric cancer camp. At first it was just for a grade. It started off as a cool idea--an idea to help people, and to honor my grandparents who had passed years before from cancer.

When my grandparents were undergoing treatment, I was sheltered from the worst parts because I was so young. I just knew that cancer was bad. I knew that cancer was sad. And I knew that cancer was what took my grandparents away from my family.

But it wasn't until I was invited to the camp that it really hit me.

I knew cancer was scary. But, yet, I didn't know cancer was scary. Does that make sense?

Long story short, seeing kids--anywhere from three to fourteen years old--walk around with bald heads, tired eyes, and the occasional IV really struck me.

It has been almost two years since I visited that camp, and there isn't a moment yet where that memory has ceased to exist in this small little college brain of mine.

Thankfully, I get to channel some of this passion for supporting cancer patients and cancer research this weekend.

I was blessed enough to be captain for my sorority's Relay for Life team. Treading through this week, my first thoughts have been:

"I am so stressed!"
"I have so much to do!"
"I can't, I'm busy."
"Oh crap, I forgot something else."

But those moments only last for a fraction of a moment. How selfish am I? How selfish am I to complain about an event that represents the walk of a cancer patient? Why do I get to complain about being too busy, when they don't even have the opportunity to become busy because they are foregoing treatments four times a week? When they have to feel worse before they get better? When the thought of their future is balancing act?

Have you ever read the Relay for Life poem entitled "Cancer Never Sleeps?"

Well here you go: "The Relay begins when the sun is setting as this symbolizes the time that the person has been diagnosed with cancer. As the evening gets darker, this represents the cancer patient's state of mind as they feel that life is coming to an end. The evening gets cooler and darker, just as emotions of the cancer patient do. Around 1 am to 2 am somewhat represents the time when a cancer patient starts treatments. They become exhausted, sometimes sick, not wanting to go on and often times wanting to give up. During these hours in a Relay, participants feel much this same way while walking, but they cannot stop or give up, just as the cancer patient does not stop or give up. By 4 am to 5 am this is symbolizing the time that the treatment comes to an end. Once again they are tired and weak, but they hope they will make it. The sun rising represents the end of treatment for the cancer patient. The morning light brings the new day full of hope of being cured. So do the participants of the Relay, feel the brightness of the morning and know that the end of the Relay is close at hand. When the participants leave the Relay, they can think of the cancer patients leaving their last treatment, and just as the participants are exhausted and weak, so is the cancer patient. But remember never give up on the hope that one day, with everyone's help, there will be a cure."

I find a strange joy in being able to "suffer" through a sleepless, rowdy night.

I cry a lot when I think about this topic. Because, Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop, you may have passed when I was young, but I carry you with me in the deepest part of my being.

I am relaying, for you. I am fighting, for you. I will not sleep, for you.


Eternal love,
Your Granddaughter