Identity.

It's true what they say. You never really know yourself.

I think that is something I have always struggled with--my self identity, my own personality, and individualism.

But that is what college is for, isn't it? To leave your save haven of familiarity, to be put in completely new situations, and to grow past the expectations of your hometown.

So who am I? Who have I discovered after completely almost half of my college career?

I am a girl who grew up very loved, and had trouble accepting that love until now, simply because I had trouble seeing it due to my own arrogance.

I like feeling girly on the inside, but when it comes to being girly on the outside--the fashion, the hair, the cliche love for anything pink--I hate it. Sweat pants, hoodies, and a sloppy bun feel much more like me than a cute outfit with matching earrings and pink flats.

I am too independent for my own good. More often than not, I refuse help even on the simplest of tasks. I like doing it myself, which is not the best thing. I ignore help from God, my friends, and my family.

I have turned from a brick wall into a wooden fence. I used to be very guarded, and ran from any chance to show any sort of emotion. Shyness. Introverted. Parted. That was me, and that is starting to change. In fact, it has changed.

I grow more by leading than by simply doing.

I have trouble keeping myself accountable, and rely on my God and the people around me to point out in areas that I am lacking any sort of drive.

My clumsiness will never disappear, so I mine as well embrace it now.

I am a walking oxymoron.

I will jump at the chance to try anything new. Within in the past year I have learned how to knit, crochet, surf, longboard, and play ukelele. I met Nick Jonas, tried bubble tea for the first time, and went to a archery range. I am half way finished reading the Old Testament because I have never done it before. I am running a Mud Run next week. If it's new, it excited me.

Only two things make me feel better: writing and music. And sometimes food.

I am not a marriage oriented person. I don't know why. I can't explain it. I know I probably should be. But honestly, I look forward to many other things in my future life more than I do to getting married.

I could go on and on. But ignore my own self identity crisis and find your own. It's refreshing actually.